Present, not late


The trouble is I want to do everything now.  I get ideas in my head, have all these plans, and get really excited.  Then I feel a bit deflated when I realise I can’t do them right away and I might have to wait.  And that’s the problem.  I don’t like waiting at all.  I’m actually quite impatient for a teacher.  I have patience in the classroom, but very little when it comes to my own life, and want I want to achieve.  I guess I’m just conscious of time ticking away and there’s so much still to do.  I feel a bit like the White Rabbit, running along, looking at my watch and exclaiming ‘I’m late!  I’m late!’  I can hear that tick, tick, tick and it drives me mad!

Like a little bad mantra in my head;

So much to do

So much to do

No time, no time

I’m late!

I’ve always been late.  I was born about ten days after my due date, went to college and university later, started travelling later, and started enjoying life later.   That’s why I have this urgent need to do, see and experience as much as I can, and I get frustrated when I can’t do things how and when I want to.  I want to live and feel alive.  I want to be present, not late.


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