This was the heading of a recent article (attached below) from Elephant Journal which talked of the importance of trying to truly live every precious moment we are given on this earth. It had been prompted by the sudden loss of a friend in an accident, which had made the author stop and think about their own life, as I did when I also learnt of the passing of someone I used to work with a few months ago. Also, an accident when they were just going about their day.
Reading the article I was inspired, feeling that I too needed to make changes, to go for my dreams more, and so I wrote the phrase on my kitchen chalk board in bright colours, I bought more travel guides and resolved to go on some big adventure next year; but then a few days passed and I forgot about the plans, my head was filled with work and various every day anxieties and I fell back to sleep again. I didn’t stay awake to my life.
This is a reoccurring pattern for me. I get very excited about new ideas and projects and then lose interest, or just get scared by the magnitude of my grand plans. In short, I give up, again and again. I always have done. I have tried everything to change it over the years; I’ve read personal development books, tried affirmations, vision boards and life coaching, but nothing seems to work. Now, I find myself at a point where I am increasingly afraid that time is running out for me and I should therefore wake up to my life now, but also that there is no point, as nothing I try seems to work. A seemingly fearful defeatist attitude I guess.
I’m very hard on myself, and offer no forgiveness when I know I’ve messed up by giving into fear and saying no to life time and again. It’s partly based on shyness, which I struggled with well into my twenties, but even though I’m more confident now, I’m still held back by that part of myself that is just really afraid of the world.
I’m sure there are many people reading this that feel similarly about their own lives and don’t feel they’ve woken up yet. I know I certainly haven’t. I’m kind of drifting in and out of sleep, but certainly don’t feel awake and raring to go. Yet I can hear time ticking away in the background and so I’ll keep preserving and hope that over the next year, I finally wake up to my life; and if you’re in the same position, I hope you do too.
This post was inspired by the following article: