I think I’m starting to realise the ‘why’ of a lot of things which have happened to me. I’m beginning to feel (almost) grateful for them as I come to understand that they have set me on a road to a place where I am more content with my life, and myself.
One of my biggest regrets has always been where I went to university. I had three lonely, unhappy years in a city I didn’t particularly care for, quite far from home. This sadness was primarily due to my being extremely shy, so at a time in my life when I should have been living it up, I had few friends because I wasn’t able to make any.
I have always looked back at my degree therefore with regret, feeling I should have studied closer to home, in a city I felt more comfortable. However, the reason I didn’t choose to do so was the course itself; it wasn’t really what I wanted. The university further way had the better course, Media and Fine Art, the former of which I now teach to international students. My three miserable university years have meant that I have worked with, and taught so many funny and interesting people in a consistently rewarding job.
My decade of teaching has also cured me, for the most part, of my shyness, so I have a few more friends now. I am also aware that I am precisely where I’m meant to be, and meeting the people I am meant to. Something I have never felt before. To be honest, I’ve never really believed in fate but I’m starting to wonder if there’s something in it.
I hope I can continue to realise the worth of all my past hurts and regrets; primarily so I can let them go and move on with the knowledge and understanding they have given me.
I’m working on it.
I hope anyone reading this, especially if you suffer from shyness, can be inspired to keep going through the painful times, and find the place where you belong, even if you don’t do so for quite some time. Just keep moving forward, and you’ll get there.
This post was partly inspired by the following quote shared by Elephant Shambhala on Facebook: